Just Stand There

Each time he returned there was more strange behavior. More peculiar demands.

He would walk in the door, strip naked on the way to his bed, lay down and yell, "Make me a peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwich." More of a demand than a request.

He always returned with his laundry. (I never saw him pack a bag to leave but then again I tried not to be around when he was there.) He would say, "Get this done" as he would throw the bag at us on the way to the bedroom. We would gather the clothes he dropped and get the laundry done as fast as possible on the off chance he might leave quicker.

He had me iron stacks of handkerchiefs. Why iron something you plan to shove in your pocket and wipe your nose on? I asked him. I hurt for days afterward.

He decided it would be cheaper and insisted we take our lunch to school. We would make an assembly line constructing a whole weeks worth of lunches and put them in the freezer. Nothing like a very soggy stale PBJ and two soft stale cookies that had been sitting in baggies in the freezer. We had no other choices. There was usually a piece of fruit or some cut up veggies to add to the bag as we walked out the door. Other times I'd wait till I got home to eat. A few times someone stole all the cookies. I suspected him!

He brought me a purple macrame bikini. He wanted me to try it on and model it. I would have no part of it. I had never been allowed to wear a bikini before but I wasn't about to start in front of him. He would surely leer and make me feel dirty. Maybe he would try to take it off. I made an excuse to leave and hid the suit.

He asked when my friends were coming over to swim. I suspected he wanted to be there to watch us through the windows. Once he asked if we ever went skinny dipping. I wondered if he knew most of my friends were guys. I tried never to get in the pool when he was home. If I wouldn't get in the pool while he was swimming he would make me sit on the concrete benches and watch while he was swimming naked. Teasing me the whole time about not going in when it was obviously so hot.

He demanded we rub his feet with lotion and pull off the dry dead skin, gross. He insisted we rub his big fat hairy back as well, equally gross.

One night he and a friend took off with our car. Mom woke up and found it missing. He told her to call the police and report it stolen. She did. After the insurance company settled he admitted it was in his friends garage. They pulled the ignition (easy for him since he had been a repo-man for years) took off parts, towed it away and abandoned it. He told mom if she reported him to the police it would be fraud and he would make sure she was locked up as well since she is the one who made the stolen car report.

He purchased an orange Cadillac with the insurance proceeds while she was in the hospital. He went to the hospital and wanted her to get out of bed so she could see his new purchase. Why so flamboyant a color I'll never know. Mom hated that car. It was a little embarrassing having it parked in our driveway.

He often called us into his room. He would be on the phone and say, "Just a second." If we tried to leave he would set the phone aside, cover it and say, "Where are you going?" If we tried to sit he would say, "Just stand there!" Sometimes we never found out why we were called in. He would forget and send us out after having us standing there for sometimes hours.

His behavior became more and more peculiar each time he returned.