Saturday, June 13, 2009

When he was around we had to be perfect.

When it was time for our father to get home we had to be perfect. We would make sure our toys were in our room and our rooms straightened. Everything in the house had to be picked up and in it's place by the time he came in the house or we would all get it. We had to be quiet. We couldn't argue or disagree.

We often hid in the sanctuary of our rooms where there was a little safety. There seemed to be a bit of out of sight out of mind when it came to our father. But also included not being heard as well. Any hint or sign of a child might bring one of us to his mind and his mind could be a pretty dark place.


There were times I think he really wanted us around. During those times he would bribe us with a spoonful of ice cream or some other sweet to stay in the room with him.
We were at times on demanded as his playthings. He used to entertain himself and others. It was a good thing we were cute. (We were cute, I have pictures to prove it.) He liked us to appear as his perfect happy family. On demand we were expected to be exactly what he wanted us to be.

We were often bored when he wanted us around because we were not allowed to be kids. It is hard to be perfect on demand.
He never wanted us to speak while we were on display. Sometimes he want us to dance or sing but never to speak unless spoken to. It is impossible for little kids to entertain grownups without an occasional embarrassing moment or two. However, when he was around we were expected to be perfect.

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